I wear formal leather shoes, I call em dressy chucks.
I braid the hair off my fists, I call em my 10 dreadknucks.
I can’t play Risk, I can only play Lux.

When I cannot curse, then I say shucks.
Trendy Coffee will cost fourbucks.
The tape I can use, I can use on ducts.
This blog is Rated R so I can’t say fsck.

I’m laughing my OS off all the way to the bank.
Your windows server just got addicted to crank.
I would emailed you but my subj: line is blank.
You woulda known that had your Makefile had Make’d.

Can’t touch what you can’t grep and you’re grep’ing the blind
Can’t search on my shizz if you’re using MS find
I’m playing Doom8 and you’re sweeping the mines
Come over Gentoo with your round ass behind.

Drop down box says, broke busted and lame
Got more play than a Multi-Massive On Game
Got life, like a half 2 game of the same Name
So sit on John’s lap on his Coltrane Blue Train

NPR ran a story about Bill Gates the fag
I turned up the volume while racing on drag
And Tux put on his cap that still had on the tag
Until we hit bambi head on and he looked like a stag

Newegg had a CRT but I blew them away
When I ordered 10 LCDs of black plastic and grey.
And they overnighted them to me so I could then play.
10 instances of solitaire thus making me ghey.

Jeff: do a “how the nerd stole christmas”

the nerd stole christmas like a pasty weak grinch
he rebooted the 25th like a clumsy DOS winch
a fan of easter only, he thought it a cinch
to screw over santa and put him into a pinch

the destroyer of xmas, the ruiner of all
he’s punching your health, he’s punching your ball
he’s shrinking your manhood, he’s making it small
he’s forking over your server with a million system call();

I trussed your calls, I got your tcp socket
I took all your IPO right outta your pocket
I’m raping your daddy while your mom asks I stop it
Then I slip on my semen while the janitor asks I mop it

I recompiled my kernel under Free Dee Bee Dee
I renamed your mom to C colon C
Then I furry turd polished her to my ftp://reem
Now who’s got .class, who’s got .style, cept boosty McFreeb?

I got patches, support, Sun ONE and Freeware
I once banged a nun 10,000 miles up on US-freeb-Air
I smuggled some coke like a strung out Rick Flair
I ran chkdsk /r, the r is for great justice repair

Your obsoleted by one one two, nine forty freeb three
I set up a blind date between Burger King and Mc’Ds
Please kill -HUP yourself to process s.s.h.d
And edit your conf called h.t.t.p.d

Laying down the su McBoost.
Laying down the su McBoost.
Laying down the su McBoost.

Had a post named Ming Wang Moo!
Peed in a cup, it came out blue!
I had sock, came with a shoe!
Puff the dragon in honaloo!

A Coup d’Etat is still a coo!
I killed Christ, I am a jew!
I’m American, aren’t you too?
I therefore don’t know any Kung Fu!

I beat my wife named Peggy Sue!
Then drink beer with my dipshit crew!
Such a life, if only you knew!
I’m redneck dick, I’m good for you!

If I’m a horse, I’m made of glue!
I killed the farmer I overthrew!
Now I own farm in Baton Roo!
And chicken ranch in Kalamazoo!

I’ve got a fireplace with a flu!
It’s long and black and Santa through!
It was in a house that I outgrew!
Now I visit dot com yahoo!

When this ends? I have no clue!
I’ve started something I can’t undo!
No ctrl-z function no alt-F2!
Wireless mouse that does bluetooo!

I set on fire my only nephew!
He turned into a black statue!
I have no chance to perform rescue!
He punched my balls, I swear I’ll sue!

TL: lay down some su –
TL: r00t!

*ok*

I got my spam flying high, I got my mouse in my hand
I got 24×7 Internet on demand
I got rhymes flying low latency over my WAN
Your shit so wack I had to fdisk your band

I got Pentium 4 cranking I/O in my cock
I rock a Pentium 8, the first one on my block
I switched to Linux in seconds, trying to booster my stock
I tried to writecha but your .lame file had a C file lock()!

My SMTP is the king of throughput
Your FTP daemon just DOS’d kaput
I’m laughing my OS off all the way to the bank
I posted on Usenet all about your tech stank

I replaced you with Perl, I coded you in Java
Your nerdy laugh, your slouch, your snot looking like guava
I rule the caffeine, they call mr. venti fava
I’m taking my rhymes to the goal like Tomas Votava

I’m UID zero, they call me King S-U root
I’m detecting your wack packets, I’m giving them the boot
Your momma just called just wants my skin flute
But I’m too fly on on my OC3 telecommute

I had a laptop of yarn that could beat you in chess
I suppose your running Win 3.1, let me guess
I saw your partition table, I laughed what a mess
Your SAN fibre hardware can’t handle my stress

Layin down the S – U
S – U
Boost!

Layin down the S – U
S – U
Boost!

TL: WOW
TL: that ruled