Dr.Sproinky
Dr.Sproinky is no where on google images. I’m fixing it.
Mmm inane.
Me
Mother fucking power is out all over fair lakes.
stop lights
target
best buy
everything!
aaaaaahhhhhh
Jeff
Why the power?
Me
They haven’t said why the power is out.
Jeff
What are going to / have you bought?
Me
Approximately an oveturning in most of the ideals and routines that a person with my habits have grown tired in. I consume regardless of the power. I seek change with purchase. All in all more serious and complex. The imteline moves and something happens.
Jeff
That made nothing sense – what are you doing? Guess this rules out dinner in fair lakes.
Me
Every detail that is revealed brings you further from the answer. The question is in the bottommost intentions of your inquisition. So grand an sober is the night and call.
Your Fair Lakes dinner is smote with Olive Garden power failure. What a fate for the acceptable $8.99 salad entree. Woe indeed.
Jeff
I have a limit to the characters – your dennis miller-esque dietrbie is loast in the transmission.
Me
Fuck my ass with a spoon.
Jeff
All out of spoons you get the egg beater
Me
Me simplify and me get egg beater?
Jeff
Yes prepare for ovo-rectal scrambling.
Me (the underling)
What a dark and twisting eggy fate that my night shall suffer. Oh woe the egg timer, the egg beater, the eggscrament, the eggception and the Edgar.
his name is robert paulson.
Jeff: optimus prime was also Eeyore?
Jeff: FUCK
Jeff: that makes it half gay
Edgar: lol
me: http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0667326/
me: doom3, tmnt, transformers and gijoe.
me: and his name is robert paulson.
me: his name is robert paulson.
me: his name is robert paulson.
me: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=his+name+is+robert+paulson
bloggy
me: all together!
404 not found!
303 gimme a synth loop!
202 mr marion crack head!
101 spending money!
000 zero in binary!
korporit tool: wow
korporit tool: are u bloggin this? [slap]
me: sure!
su – McBoost
I trussed your calls, I got your tcp socket
I took all your IPO right outta your pocket
I’m raping your daddy while your mom asks I stop it
Then I slip on my semen while the janitor asks I mop it
I recompiled my kernel under Free Dee Bee Dee
I renamed your mom to C colon C
Then I furry turd polished her to my ftp://reem
Now who’s got .class, who’s got .style, cept boosty McFreeb?
I got patches, support, Sun ONE and Freeware
I once banged a nun 10,000 miles up on US-freeb-Air
I smuggled some coke like a strung out Rick Flair
I ran chkdsk /r, the r is for great justice repair
Your obsoleted by one one two, nine forty freeb three
I set up a blind date between Burger King and Mc’Ds
Please kill -HUP yourself to process s.s.h.d
And edit your conf called h.t.t.p.d
Laying down the su McBoost.
Laying down the su McBoost.
Laying down the su McBoost.
rbbt.
so really what am i left with but a bunch of empty space that in no way, shape or form has anything to do with the frog haunting my nightmares. damn you frog! i’ve always hated you and you rbbt ass!
(>’-')>
---------------- Me ----------------- | DATE: Yep, this is now. i++; | ID: 442-3396-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | peeny pown my bloggy clox! ---------------- Yu ----------------- | DATE: justBeforeNow.java | ID: 442-3395-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | shibby dimm rambo, scobby nikk box! ---------------- Me ----------------- | DATE: Wow, that just happened | ID: 442-3394-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | and with sea-men you wave your cox! ---------------- Yu ----------------- | DATE: I swear I almost know this | ID: 442-3393-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | on break, cuz I work at the dox! ---------------- Me ----------------- | DATE: Eh, it's sorta new, still old | ID: 442-3392-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | Gimme a bagel with some lox! ---------------- Yu ----------------- | DATE: Newer than really old | ID: 442-3391-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | and it washes yo sox! ---------------- Me ----------------- | DATE: Old, long time ago, wow | ID: 442-3390-Xref-header-B.S. ------------------------------------- | | that schedule rox. |
|
iMacs
Beautiful UNIX
I want to hump
In your partial 64-bit C libraries
I want to scrump
Oh god, an original joke
Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvolds stumble into a server room. To their amazement, they find an old and dusty terminal in a corner. Suddenly the terminal starts speaking to them in a dark and scary voice. “Gentlemen! I will grant you each 1 wish! Press any key to continue!”
Linus says, “I’ll go first!”. And he types in his wish:
I wish for absolute power \\ omnipotence \\ omniscience and any other way you want to phrase it over absolutely everything \\ everyone.
The computer beeps and says, “you cannot use backslashes! Only use forward slashes! Wish corrupted!” Linus hangs his head in shame and walks away from the keyboard empty handed.
Steve Jobs says, “Ok! Me next!”. Steve pulls his chair up to the keyboard and puts his hand out on the desk only to find that there’s no mouse. He sighs and says, “man, I wish I had a mouse …”
The computer beeps and a mouse appears. Steve Jobs walks away with a mouse.
Bill Gates says, “Ok! Me next!” and then pauses.
“Linus’ text mode didn’t work although Steve’s mice idea was good … I really wish that I had a GUI that I could just get that omnipotence thing …”
The computer beeps and suddenly everyone is running windows.
The English programming language
I’ve invented a new programming language; I call it English. I’ll submit an official white papaer or something probably really important. Here’s a code snippet until I do something more important and official sounding. Bleep.
Make my OS stop freezing without reason. After that, remove all stupid jokes from my Inbox. If you have some free time while doing the two above: - Download a bunch of porn while I'm at work - Grab that album that I can't find off some server - I don't care how you do it, just do the above, thanks.
It’s not funny so die.