Apparently WoW had a beta event that only certain people could participate in (I was not in it). Eventually the beta had to close but that didn’t keep the people in the beta from going out with a bang. The GMs (root/admin on the game server) also got involved spawning things where they shouldn’t be, causing mass quantities of X to do Y to Z.

Tseric is a widely known GM within the community. He apparently turned himself into a giant demon thingy with the guild name of Less QQ More PewPew. QQ is a way of saying crying because it looks like two eyes with tears:
O_o
o_Q
Q_Q

Pew pew is of course the sound that lasers make. Of course! Pew! Pew! My lazorz!. Makes perfect sense as a phrase, perfect for shouting at drive-thru windows at 80mph. Right? Perfect sense? Ok, maybe not.

So what Tseric is saying is stop crying, start shooting lasers. Certainly at the least, words to live by.

Tseric is now riding a smoking demon horse of some kind while an innocent player asks, Tsericc, is this for all the mean posts we’ve ever made?. Killing the joke completely this is because the WoW forums are generally full of whiny nerds with too much time on their hands (ref: this post you are reading). And one of Tseric’s jobs is to moderate these forums and generally be a community liaison.

Mildly hilarious for an impromtu event closing out a bunch of beta servers.

Yep, this is going to be an obscure one.

FFXII has a little save crystal that when you press (X), you can save your game. It’s a model that is approximately the size of the player’s character and it rotates slowly. Nothing special but on the PS2 I thought it was well executed. For the platform it’s on, I think it’s one of the most interesting and deep models in a PS2 game and sadly I wish they had waited for the PS3 to do FF12.

Of course no one cares. People care so little that there isn’t even a google image search that comes up with anything reasonable. So I’m posting my own set of shots strategically named so that hopefully the Googlemobile picks it up and the greater good is … well … more gooder.

Behold! A meaningless screenshot from a video game!

Notice how the edges are a bit black, I wonder if that’s a function of lighting or a function of material. Also interesting is that doing a polygon with sharp edges is so easy with modelling that I guess they focused on the pretty “illusion of glass” stuff. You can really see this effect strongly in the 3rd picture at the bottom tip of the shard.

Neat.

Beat Shadow of the Colossus this weekend. Fantastic game. Absolutely a work of art. The ending is extremely stunning, cited as the 4th best moment in gaming by gamepro.com.

4. Shadow of the Colossus (PS2): Epic in design and flawless in execution, Shadow of the Colossus is a rare gem amongst pebbles. If slaying 16 giants wasn’t cool enough for you, the ending was quite a surprise as the colossal deity takes control of your body and transforms you into a devastating behemoth of destruction.

Of course, the natural off-topic question is “What is the first three?”.

1. Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation): Aeris is killed by Sepiroth in one of the most heartbreaking scenes ever in a video game.
2. Halo (Xbox): Surviving the last level of the original Halo, The Maw, was one of the most climactic experiences in modern gaming.
3. Metroid (NES): You beat the Mother Brain, race through the tunnels, and when you reach the surface of the planet…blammo!

Can’t agree completely but whatever. Shadow of the Colossus was a great experience. Was really cheap as it’s been out since 2005. Good stuff.

Phew. Man that last level was a hard one. And thank god they send you back into the part you died in. I kept dying in part 2/3 and they spawn you in part two when you try again, very nice of them. Otherwise, I’d be attempting that one all weekend.

Overall, a classic game. Ending is a bit thin but at least they let you “sandbox” afterwards. Impressive for the PS2 platform. Certainly the best one yet. Weather was great, acting was great, story was meh, the design stuff was really good and the humor was very entertaining.

I’m just glad it’s fucking over after like a year+. Going to shelf it for a long time. Like my embarrassing goat pornstar films. Um.

I accidentally agreed with an older PA post. I was talking to Tim after seeing him on Xbox Live playing the Crackdown demo. My IM was something like:

Me: Crackdown is cool I guess. It’s way over the top but … not to nickpick, the font is so lame. I wonder if the developers were forced to use it because it’s a MS font.
Tim: lol

Or something close to that effect. Of course I sound whiney but that’s not really the case. I’m in the throws of beginning gamedev and the very first thing I played around with was fonts. Default OpenGL fonts suck. They look horrific. And there’s very few people that care enough to work on it. FTGL is something I’ve messed around with but it’s not a great solution for reasons I barely remember. Getting in bed with MS is your only option on the 360 but even on the Mac some of the best font tricks are NSObjects which means your audience better be running a Mac.

Bleh to portability. And bleh to me pretending I’m a real developer. I’ll post some screenshots later today of my “nice” proof of concept. It’s mostly stolen code but I can’t afford to reinvent the wheel when I’m sizing up effort. Nice fonts or nothing at all.

So while all of this is klinking around in my head, PA posted this about Crackdown. Remember Crackdown? That’s the topic that I started this raging post with … O_o

So, yes, I do like it, but there’s something I don’t understand.

You’ve got this big, open-world game that runs well and has a unique look. Against all odds, you’ve managed to carve out a multidisciplinary gameplay niche and make it work. What’s more, your game is now indelibly tied to one of The West’s most potent action franchises. So why does your entire interface look like a first-pass prototype?

I have to say that red flags are raised whenever I see that default Xbox system font in a retail game. You’ll know what I mean if you see it. Talk to Nate over at Blambot, for fuck’s sake.

The font is just the beginning of it – every time data is communicated to the player it’s done in a lackadaisical, lifeless fashion that looks like it must be the example code they ship with the Goddamn devkit. It looks cheap, and it is cheap, only it’s not, because this thing costs sixty fucking dollars. I’m not going to deprive myself of otherwise solid entertainment because of it, but this is nonsense.

Yes! Yes, exactly. Thank you. The Xbox system font he’s referring to is Arial 14 point and it’s so played out. I don’t want to be reminded of Outlook when I’m blasting space alien vampire hooker mutant rockstars. Blambot, yes, buy the $20 font you bastards. Wouldn’t this look so much better than that Arial crap?

Windows typography just isn’t even a phrase. It’s an afterthought. Lose the Age of Empires frontrosity.

When work is tough, the tough buy crap they don’t need.

My weekly trek of gas filling led me to my least favorite bastardization of retail stock-problems and parody of gamer culture. Best Buy. They had a few deals that only a desperate brick & mortar can offer but mostly they had instant gratification for sale.

Playstation 2: Viewtiful Joe 2 (2004) Capcom Entertainment
Metacritic Score: 85

This title seems to pop up in people’s memorable list. The 2nd one didn’t rate as high as the first one. Metacritic pretty much lines up with what I like. 80s and better are worthwhile. Side scroller cell shaded beat-em-up.

It looks zany and crazy and I don’t own anything like it. Cept Jiewtiful Voe and that’s completely different. Completely. Different. *ahem*

Playstation 2: Rogue Galaxy (2007) Sony Computer Entertainment
Metacritic Score: 85
Ack! The banner ads! Everywhere I go! Banner ads of Rogue Galaxy! Foul temptress! Atlus, oh creator of media for Okatus and Japanophiles, why do you mock me? Do I dare eat from your foul tree? Do I step through the dark door of burning outcasts clad in plate-mail made of undead souls? Atlus! Destroyer of social skills! Animator of manga frames! Ruiner of dental habits!

Oh my god. The hobby. It’s full of stars. *dies*

Playstation 2: Rule of Rose (2006) Atlus Software
Metacritic Score: 53
Yep. I deserve this. I’m the one who forgot the context. It had a reduced price at Best Buy and I was standing there thinking:

1. Ok, was this the game that was on that guy’s amazon list that was into the D&D crap and Baldur’s Gate:Dark Alliance for PS2 … which is totally sucking ass right now … god damn it .. even that was on sale for $7. I think I’d have more fun buying $7 of bazooka joe and sticking my ass to a speeding Gremlin … oh sorry kid who is now scarred for life
2. Or was this the game that has received rave reviews by all and all who have not played are mortal fools with foolishly held fool-money?

I chose #2. I chose poorly.

Playstation 2: Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (2006) Rockstar Games
Metacritic Score: 78
My PSP is never used. Except for Lumines, Loco Roco and as an online mp3 player. Sad really. This was a pretty cheap port. I’m finishing up GTA:SA and so I might as well tack this on to the end of the series. GTA clones like Crackdown (360) just won’t cut it until GTA4 comes out. And even if GTA4 does come out, it’ll likely be the best on the PS3 which is best bought at the end of 2007 when they get those 65nm parts in and drop the price by 20%.

Xbox 360: Lost Planet: Extreme Condition (2007) Capcom
Metacritic Score: 80
Chalk this one up to a complete lack of self-control. It’s pretty obvious that Capcom puts out the arcade style games and waits for you to write the backstory and the plot. I’m fine with that. Lost Planet is going to be a frozen shooter with a massive single player mission. I’m not interested in the online play, too many young kids and my Gold subscription is going to run out unless The Wookie (or anyone) wants to run some Gears of War co-op. Tim and I had a blast doing that.

It was 10 degrees here. How can a frozen planet not fit the bill?

Consumption In The Mail

Beginning Mac OSX Programming
This book looks pretty tasty. Has insight into the horrifically different world of Mac’s NSobjects and the like. I have another book that hits on a few of the Xcode topics in a better way than Wrox usually does but this would be a good read even if I fail miserably at digesting it all.

Xcode is a fantastic IDE and I’d like to know more about the platform. Apps like Acquisition, Xfactor, Textmate, Yojimbo, Handbrake and Writeroom are elegant and singularly available only on the Mac. Few are free. I would like to know if it’s too hard to write free or if it’s too specialized. Learning the basics might give me some insight and possibly enable me to fill in a gap somewhere (far, far, far down the road).

Wow, okay … less serious …

We3
Comic book about cats and dogs trying to get home. The art looks absolutely fantastic. And nothing soothes the wage-slave like a picture book made for retards. Oh, yeah, it’s artsy and crap. Has something to do with expression. *zzzz* Pictures!

I’d be happy to pass on it except for the robotic cat jumping out at my preferences. Yes, cat, I see you and you rule.

Playstation 2: Shadow Hearts: From The New World (2006)
Aruze / Xseed
Metacritic Score: 77
Ok so this is a bit of a risk. There’s two in this series before this one but I think I’ll just see how this one is. It’s probably going to be similar to Star Ocean (which I found kinda beyond my tolerance of plot/geekiness). But who knows.

Similar to this whole “jumping into a series”, is Metal Gear Solid of which I have no knowledge of. Of course, everyone goes to pieces at the mere mention of MGS. The PS3 is also riding a major piece of its reputation on this mystery title. All I know about MGS I learned from vgcats. Hilarious.

Playstation 2: Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria (2006) Square Enix
Metacritic Score: 84
This one was a bit harder to find out there. Amazon with its dark pacts of resellers managed to put up a reseller by the name of OMG_BAI4_GAMES_LESS with an amazing multi-thousand number of sales. This reseller partnership that Amazon has just wouldn’t cut it in the real world. A used car lot owned by MR_ROBOTO_4AWESOMAH_AUTOS would inspire images of spikey haired salesmen screaming ???! and running after me with large stereotypical swords.

Playstation 2: Ico (2001) Sony Computer Entertainment
Metacritic Score: 91
Ico. People can’t say enough about this one.

Yahoo Games said:

A subtle intoxicating journey, and one of the best games around.

Gamespy said:

One of the absolute greatest games you will ever play. With gorgeous graphics, sounds, and environments it’s easily one of the most aesthetically pleasing as well. The level and puzzle design is absolutely brilliant as well.

PSXNation said:

Ico isn’t a new type of game but rather one taken to near perfection. Rarely does a game gel like this and it[s simply the work of a master.

Well I can’t knock it until I rock it but it has a lot to live up to. Comments from sources like PSXNation just make me roll my eyes. They are a bit tied down with regards to their audience. “2007 Honda Civic Magazine says that the 2007 Honda Civic is amazing!” Right. Turning off the Comic Book Guy switch…

Playstation 2: Dark Cloud 2 (2003) Sony Computer Entertainment America
Metacritic Score: 87
Level 5 is really putting out the titles lately, or maybe its me just noticing the PS3 title White Knight Story. To diverge a bit, that White Knight movie floating around (penny arcade commented on it), it is likely just a bunch of pre-vis rendered stuff. I’m keeping my hopes up because the platform could pull it off. Who knows. Pre-release screenshots etc are always lies. Just look at Gran Turismo 4 on gamespot to see historical screenshots that are impossibly clear and massively huge.

Anywho, a few have commented that Dark Cloud is the PS2′s Zelda. Hmm. I’ll have to bounce that off Edgar … I think he’s still convulsing after beating Twilight Princess.

Picked up Burning Crusade, the collector’s edition. It has a great layout to it. Very high quality. Has lots of extras that are interesting. I “read” the art book and it’s impressively depressing at how much work and fun they must have done/had making just the expansion.

Done and done. Gamecube version. Took me many months, especially since I put it down for a while.

Definitely rememberable. The first of the series that I played. A friend of mine (from pg99) played the absolute crap out of it, I saw the movie, didn’t really get it. So I guess this was my inauguration into the series. And in the end, I get probably a crappy score:

Hit Ratio: 67%
Enemies killed: 974
Number of times killed: 52
Clear time: 23:54’53″
Number of Saves: 86

After God of War, I’m sticking with my “game on rails” statement. This game felt like you controlled a mummy. It was cool for the thrill and surprise but overall, I enjoyed the other aspects more than the action. The story was decent, acting was laughably B movie. But the highlight was really realistic weapons. No other game really communicated reloading / click-click and the limited supply of ammunition. You can’t carry everything. You can’t miss too much. You have to place good shots. You have to search boxes for more ammo. And you have to reload 5 guns in a row sometimes after a big fight.

Anyway, I don’t want to get into a full review. The second disc really took off. It got pretty intense really quickly. And then it ended kind of flat. Satisfying and complete but nothing like Akira’s screaming God opera ending with universe burning laser show, scorching disbelief.

Beat God of War and couldn’t be happier to be through it. It was a real struggle to finish it. Tedious, a few bugs and lots of swearing.

The story was good and the developer did some real nice tricks to make the PS2 sing. There isn’t any loading between zones or areas and the art direction is top-notch. However. One section towards the end you have to jump up on some high platforms and then fight pairs of Satyrs until some platforms ahead of you appear. The thing is, I found some path up to the fight they weren’t expecting (from the right side) so I had to jump all the way back down blindly (they don’t expect you to do this so they don’t give you any camera favors) and this was really annoying because it was a bug that got me stuck (of sorts).

And really that same camera favor bit is kinda the weirdest aspect of this game. You can’t look around. The camera is an enemy of sorts. If you go to a corner, the camera might spin around revealing a chest with something in it. So you feel like your own viewport is something fighting against you. And this is what I mean by a game on rails. It’s a railroad platformer.

Finally beat River City Ransom on NES. I think I had gotten pretty far on the GBA version back in October of ’04 but I don’t think I ever finished it (certainly not on NES). I remember borrowing this cart back in middle school from a friend two streets over. Never understood it, never even came close to beating it.

This time around was a bit different. Fired up an emulator from bannister.org for OSX and plugged in my USB NES pad. Authentic experience with scanlines, noise, screen warping (tube TV bubble warp) and the real freaking pad. Was a blast. Totally uber’d. All my stats were 63/63 and 127/127. Which reminds me … why did NES use 8-bit numbers and get away with it, 0-63 is 64 as in River City Ransom, 0-127 is 128 as in max lives in Ninja Gaiden with the Game Genie code, 0-255 equals 256 as in max rupees in Zelda?! Well wikipedia explains it better.

UPDATE: I went back and found my old save state from River City Ransom EX (gba remake) and found I was on the last area. So I mopped it up. Ha, beat it twice.