The Short Story

Just got back from my honeymoon with my lovely (new) wife. It was a bit of a complicated trip. The short story is: we had a blast once we got there, the traveling to and fro was horrible in many sequential ways. What follows is a necessary travel log of drama, suspense and mystery. Read on, only if you dare.

It was a dark and story night…

It was a dark and story night and K and I had just wrapped up our rainy and terrific wedding. Everyone had a good time, the party was fun, all our best of friends were there and we were soon wisked away to Landsdowne where we (funny enough) ran back into Wookie, Sponge, Chuck and their respective wives. It seemed everyone was upset to disturb us however, I thought it was just a bit of funny luck. Oh, but how our luck and fortune would change… [cue dark music]

The next night we had to fly out of Dulles. So we had booked a Hilton near the airport. It would be a quick drive in the morning and we could sleep in. However, our plans were dashed aside quickly. See, the same horrific rainstorm that soaked our wedding also soaked the night we went out to the Hilton. K had her Maid of Honor pick us up (which was extra nice of her because she had to work the next day) at our apartment with our bags. However, it was raining so hard that there was 4″ – 6″ of flowing water going down around our sidewalk that rolling baggage was impossible. So K and the MoH both carried umbrellas over me while I put the bags on my back and walked barefoot through the sidewalk river with lightning all around. The current on the sidewalk was so bad that one of our flipflops was washed away while walking. We were completely soaked everytime we got a bag (not to mention the lightning — standing in water). After we were completely soaked we ran to the car and slowly made our way out to the airport.

We stayed at the Hilton and made it to the airport 2.5 hours early. We stood in line on US Airways for 45 minutes before getting to the counter and they said, “You’re in the wrong line, we just market the ticket, go to United.”. And then we got in an even bigger international line. See, the rain had delayed a bunch of flights. So there was this massive overload of people in Dulles. In fact, we never even made check-in. We were there 2.5 hours and we didn’t get on our plane, didn’t even get a boarding pass. Whole hordes of people were missing their flights. It was a huge mess. There were no alternate flights that were reasonable. We got some information and called K’s parents to pick us up. Our honeymoon was set back a day. I called the resort and pushed everything back.

So, the $250 Hilton room was a waste, walking through a massive thunderstorm was a waste and keeping the Maid of Honor working hard was pointless. We were upset but delt with it. What can you do.

Day Two

Next day, got up at 5am again and drove ourselves to the airport. K’s Dad was sick but took K’s car home. We were there 3 hours early. We did this whole weird baggage shuffle, line waiting for 2 hours and just barely made it to the gate on time. It was still crazy, crazy, crazy.

We flew into San Juan. We went to get our boarding passes but found out they had overbooked the flight. They said, “there’s a weight limit policy we can’t do anything about”. Bad move, never hide behind policy. The real issue is, San Juan has a dinky little airport and you overbooked the flight. They wouldn’t admit to it thought.

Our tickets were confirmed (apparently confirmed means nothing) but only I had a seat number. They asked if we wanted to split (of course not!) and that meant I lost my seat. We were stuck in Puerto Rico. There were plenty of angry people at the ticket desk with us. There was one couple who were getting married in St Lucia (where we were heading) and they were in a group of 8 people. Only 2 of the 8 got seats and the group organized so that the bride and groom could go. The bride started freaking out because she was leaving everyone behind but there was nothing anyone could do. She broke down at the shuttle and couldn’t even hold her head up, crying, screaming “No! I won’t go! I don’t want to go!” It was crazy.

The airline gave us travel vouchers, San Juan hotel vouchers for the inconvenience. They also gave us a long shot. The next and last flight was in 3 hours and was completely full. They asked if we wanted to try standby and we said, “ok sure”. We had nothing else to do. We got our vouchers and we sat around the airport. If we missed the last flight to St Lucia, we’d just stay in San Juan, get a bottle of Jack Daniels and get drunk to deal with stressful travel. We were looking at Day 3 to get our honeymoon started.

No Day Three

So after waiting three hours, the other flight started to book. The same thing started. People pissed off, not enough seats, etc, etc. We had given up at this point. We waited around to get our hotel vouchers. But then as the last minutes were left, they called “Link. Dillon!” It was like an angelic voice. We got on the bus with the last four people. Missed a night in Puerto Rico (without luggage) by four people. Phew.

Got in to the resort (Sandals) at about 10:30, walked around for 30 minutes and went to bed, absolutely drained.

Honeymoon Go!

After all that traveling mess, it was a blast. We layed by the pool. We played in the ocean. I watched the World Cup with unlimited free beers. We had pina coladas brought to us on the beach. We ate free at all the resorts on the island. We got champagne in our room for free. We got a 1 hour massage in a spa (us men are missing out on the spa thing). We played ping-pong. We did whatever the hell we wanted. It was extremely relaxing.

The pools were really well laid out. They had pool volleyball everyday, twice a day. Lots of activities to do. Most people just layed around (like us). Sandals is a great place if you want it done right. Our friends had recommended it and they were right.

Time to Go

Unfortunately, all good things come to and end and we had to go home. We somehow got picked for a private cab to the airport (which was fantastic) and got driving to the airport by ourselves instead of on the shuttle. On the drive through, we got to go through the rainforest there and see some neat trees and scenery. St Lucia is very pretty.

We got to Miami airport with no problem and soon we were in DC at Dulles. We were quite tired from flying and it was 10:30pm. Unfortunately, we had to wait 45 minutes for our bag. This seems to happen to me every 10 flights. The bags just take forever to get out.

Drama, again

We grabbed a cab and went to K’s parents house and then the drama started again. See, K’s parent’s house has a very steep and tricky driveway. We asked the cabbie to drop us off at the end of the driveway so he wouldn’t have to experience the trickiness. But he said, “no, no, it’s no problem” and drove up the driveway. We took our bags out and I payed him. He started backing up but before I could say anything I realized he was trying to turn around. It’s not a turn around driveway.

He mistaked the lawn for blacktop and managed to get himself stuck on a lip (which is there to keep you from sliding down the hill) at 1am. He was bottomed out with trees in front of him. His back tires were touching the driveway (rear wheel drive) but he couldn’t get out. I started to lose it. It was 1am, he was peeling out on my Father-in-law’s driveway and we just wanted to go to bed. We had to wait there while he continued to try, calling his other cabbie friends, peeling out, smoking tires, asking me to push, trying to put his floormats down, calling his friend again.

With nothing else to do (and I wanted to get us away from that situation), we drove to Arlington and by the time we got back (2:30am) he had driven across the lawn and done about $1000 worth of damage to K’s parent’s driveway. We went to bed at about 3:30am, absolutely pissed off.

We filed a complaint the next day.

The End

Like I said, we had a blast once we got there, the traveling to and fro was horrible in many sequential ways. Like our wedding, rough spots but we kept our head on (amazingly) and had a fun time. I just hope our whole marriage isn’t like this.

More vacation pictures here.