I know I’m offending big time. No apologies, because Black Sabbath are a bunch of women with little pink purses. It’s true.

I’m rockin out to Black Sabbath (the self titled album). An awesome album, an epic band. Classic sound, low-fi production. It started it all.

And then at the end of N.I.B., they end with a Picardy Third. Now, most of you are like: “masdf878“. And I hear you. I understand your woes. However, before you pass judgement upon me and scream “masdf878″ please hear my short and humble explanation of what a Picardy Third is and what this has to do with Black Sabbath’s aftermentioned pink purses.

A Picardy Third is where you end a song happily. More specifically, you write a song in a minor key and end it in a major key. None of that technical detail matters .. all you need to know is it’s like taking a dark and sad song and ending it with a rainbow. It’s the musical equivalent of putting “and they lived happily ever after” at the end of Schindler’s List.

How else to explain. How about Black Sabbath’s “Changes“. You would keep the original chorus, “I’m going through changes” and then at the end say:
I’m NOT going through changes, THE END. Yay!

The Picardy Third is a tired musical trick. It was used by Picardy so much that they named this resolution after him. Usually it’s not used nicely. Much like if the term “Sell Out” was coined after a John Arby Sellout signed his underground punk band to MTV. The Picardy Third is the Jump The Shark episode from Happy Days, it’s a sad dirge on a rainy Sunday with a dancing bear at the end.

And so with their extremely lame ending to N.I.B., I hereby kickoff the first (and likely last) Pink Purse Award. Congratulations on your spineless ending, you horrifically splendid fucks.