I buy most of my clothes at the Gap. I know, OBEY. But it’s simple stuff. No logos on t-shirts, everything fits right. Maybe I’m built for consuming. Whatever, that’s not the point. My big brother moment is my point.

I bought a black wool dress jacket for wearing with suits. I had no such coat. It was a good price. I also picked up some more work clothes because it is very formal at the office and I have mostly casual shizzles to wear. When I was checking out, I saw that they had a 20% discount if you applied (and was approved for) a Gap credit card. I know, I know but it was a huge chunk of dough that I saved and I buy all my clothes here because everything else sucks (even outside of Mall/OBEY context). In a cultural vaccumn, I’d be naked or wearing Gap clothes. I’m sorry. I’m not metal.

So I filled out the application form and handed it to the girl behind the counter and soon she was on the phone because of some error. Turns out, she used my old address off my driver’s license (instead of the form which I hand wrote) which caused some flag to be raised. I had to answer some questions to the call center person (Gap credit services) and all of them were highly disturbing in this casual retail context:

• What color was your 1997 Miata?
• Do you recognize 123 Cherry Lane? No. 345 My Street? Nope. 567 Yessir Road (where I lived 2 years ago)? Yes.
• What county is (old address on license) in?

I see where they’d get the information from .. a simple credit report. But in the context of buying a wool coat it seemed way too BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING for me. I was approved and soon walking out to my car that they probably knew about to the house that they know about too.

Obey Gap.