It’s fun getting advice from coworkers on allergies. “drugs help!” Ok, yeah. I know! Let’s see. I have Alavert, Benedryl, Allegra, Zyrtec and Claritin generic. I have two types of prescription sprays. Nothing works 100%.

In fact, I nearly killed myself on the spray. I tipped it upside down and liquid came out instead of mist and I swallowed it. It was late and my finacee (weird saying that) was asleep so I had to quietly strangle myself in the bathroom. It was the stealthiest self hanging evar.

Then I went back and looked at the label. Yep. “Harmful if swallowed. Seek medical help or a funeral home.” I went to bed and said my prayers. When I woke up, I raised my arms up as if I won the Olympics.

Sweet day! Beautiful life! Hear me sneeze with newfound vigor!

The moral of the story: if you can’t pronounce the chemicals, they have no power on you.